Nitori Quits The Swimming Club
by Haruko Saruwatari
Summary: Nitori tricks Rin to let him quit the club, and vanishes. As Rin keeps looking, it becomes clear that Ai's reasons are depression, younger talents and "nosebleeds"
1. Chapter 1

Rintori were Nitori wants to quit the swimclub, and Rin talks to sousuke about it.

"Uhm, senpai! I.. I need to tell you something.." The duck-like secondyear looked down on his feet as he spoke to his upperclassman. Rin turned to look at him, and brushed the boy's hair. Nitori's eyes were serious, as they kept looking down. Something was at the wrong.  
"Wanna talk somewhere else, Nitori?" he asked. But Nitori shook his head.  
"N-no, senpai. It's easier to do it here. It's not really a big deal for everyone.." Rin rose his eyebrow, turning suspicious. He let his hand fall to the side, and waited for Nitori to tell him.  
"So, what do you wanna tell me?" Rin smiled.  
"Well, actually... I..." Nitori tried his best to turn his thougths to words. But he failed.  
"Ah- nevermind senpai! It's no big deal, really! I think I can handle this by myself, actually.."  
Nitori looked up with his big and blue eyes, with almost aggressive movements. Rin clicked his toungue.  
"Nitori, just tell me. What's up?" He seemed to get more pissed as Nitori kept dragging his time.  
"I have other clubmembers that needs my help, okay? I can't keep talking to you like this on every training. Hurry up and tell me now, will ya?" Rin's aggressive reply made Ai flinch.  
As a reflex, he bowed deeply, apologized, but handed a letter at the same time.  
"Please sign this, senpai!"  
Nitori held the pose as long as Rin stayed confused, and therefore lasted a few more seconds than he thought. The other members started to stare and make up their mind on what the meaning behind this sight was. Rin got embarrassed and grabbed the piece of white paper. Ai looked up, and handed his senpai a pen. He had problems keeping his feelings under control, but until senpai had signed, he'd keep them in as best as he could.  
"There, signed. What is this, anyway?"  
Nitori grabbed the paper before Rin could take a better look, which made him more suspicious. Nitori kept looking at the ground, and didn't answer.  
"I'm feeling sick, so I'll go back to the dorm, senpai." Without permission, he just turned around and walked out of the swimclub, not looking back.

The paper he clenched in his fist was all sweaty as he made it back to the dormitory. He sat down on his chair, and looked at the paper. "With this, I can finish.." he whispered to himself, with teary eyes. Why did the kanji on this paper mean so much to him? The kanji of Rin Matsuoka, his senpai. A fantastic athlete within swimming, whom will make it far in the olympics. Needless to say, he was an amazing swimmer. But so were Mikoshiba. Both of them, and Sousuke. And all the other swimmers at Samezuka Academy. Everyone in the swimclub were looking high and expected good results. For nationals.  
Nitori knew as a freshman that he might not end up as one of the best swimmers, but he'd do his best. In his second year of highschool, this thought kept on bugging him. Do my best, he thought. What nonsense. Totally something to laught about, huh? Nitori chuckled for him self, getting more depressed than ever. "Even the first-years are better than me.." he whispered to himself, as his head fell further and further down. His head made a "thump!" as he hit the desktop. He let out a sound of dissapproval to this pain.  
As a second-year, his kouhais would look up to him. Unfortunately, they were all both better than him and taller than him. All he could be proud of, was his age. But that made it all even worse. As an older person, he should be better than the younger! He should be able to teach them things, both academics and swimming! Seemed like he wasn't cut out for being a senpai at all..  
Nitori rolled his sleeves up, and with the left hand, he grabbed the cardboard cutter. The skin on his forearm was no longer pure, or soft. It was white.

"Nitori? Are you in there? I'm coming in!" Rin knocked on Ai's dorm before opening the door. Practice was finally done, and he could relax until bedtime. But his head had been full of Nitori since the weird asking for his name. He was very curious about what it could be. Rin was quick to open the door, and found his kouhai lying on his stomach and reading on the bed. He looked behind himself, and tilted his head with a smile. It was an imposed smile.  
"I want to ask you about that thing at practice, Nitori. What did you ask me to sign?" Rin sat down on Ai's chair and turned to the silverhaired boy. The boy looked down on his mangam and seemed to refuse to answer. Rin sighed, and started to look around the room. His eyes fell on a piece of paper near the trashcan. As he bent down to pick it up, his eyes rolled over to show the trashcan full of bloody paper. Rin froze for a second, then asked Nitori.  
"What happened?" Nitori looked up from the book, and replied with a usual voice.  
"I had a nosebleed. I get them quiet a lot now, but I don't know what causes them, tho."  
Rin couldn't do anything more than believe him. He left the possibilitys behind and rolled out the paper he picked up. In the corner of his eye, he noticed Nitori winced a little, as if he was scared.  
Nitori watched Rin as he read the topic of his paper. His eyes stared at him, to make sure he didn't do anything unexpected. He wrapped his duvet around himself, as an armor to shield himself from the dragon. As soon as Rin realised, he'd be the dragon, and Nitori would end up dead. He waited a few seconds before he snuck his head out of the duvet, and looked at his senpai, still sitting on the chair and reading. His eyes were big and his eyebrows were raised. He couldn't believe what it said. His fist clenched the white paper, and released it. His hand didn't pick it up. For ten seconds, Ai held his breath, waiting for his senpai to yell at him. He snuck his head back into the duvet, and awaited for the scream.  
Rin mumbled something, but Nitori didn't really catch what he said. He kept silent. He felt the wave that Rin caused as he sat down on the bed. Now there were only a meter and a duvet between them. Ai was terrified, and his eyes were useless with all the water dripping down. "Please, please don't look at me.. Don't make me look, senpai.." Ai begged for his life. He really didn't want senpai to do this! No more talking, it'd just end up like every other time!  
"Nitori, what-" Rin was about to raise his voice, but controlled himself.  
"Why the hell do you want to quit the club?" Rin asked, but didn't try to touch him. Ai sobbed.  
"Oy, are you crying? Nitori, open up for me, c'mon! Don't be like this!" Rin switched position, but Ai couldn't tell to what. He grabbed the duvet harder, and wrapped it around himself.  
"Nitori.." Rin was getting pissed.  
"I'm sorry" was all Ai could say.

"You're sorry?" Rin was confused. He looked at the big pile of a duvet and his kouhai.  
"You want to give up on swimming. You want to let all your hard training behind like it ment nothing for you! YOU ARE QUITTING THE CLUB, NITORI! And you're sorry?!" Rin rose, and felt his anger came welling up in him. "Please, dont" Ai said, stifled with painful tears. Rin grabbed the covers and threw it away, leaving Ai in the corner of his own bed. Rin's ribcage moved up and down, synchronized with his heavy breath. He looked at the silverboy. His hands was covering his face, and he sobbed uncontrollably. The jacket he wore had only one of his sleeves rolled up, while the other one was close to his wrists.  
"Why do you wanna quit?!"  
Still no answer.  
"Nitori!"  
Silence.  
"ANSWER ME!" Rin grabbed Ai's pillow and threw it at him with all his power. The throw was so strong that Ai's head smashed into the wall as the pillow his his face. Rin regrettet immediatly his action, but he couldn't do anything. He'd frozen stiff.  
"I'M SORRY!" Ai yelled back, jumped out of his bed and ran off. The door smacked behind him as hard as the sound of a slap in someones face.

As expected, Ai didn't show up to practice the day after. Or the day after that. Rin asked around both swimming members and teachers. He was attending class, but nobody knew where he went after that. Even Momo didn't know. Rin wasn't able to leave his chores as the captain, so looking for Ai wasn't easy. Every time he's catch himself thinking about the silverhaired boy, he'd regret not running after him that day. All Rin could do, was to stay paralyzed as Ai ran off, afraid and hurt, both psycially and mentally. His head began to spin as his chest tightened. Why, he thought, did he leave Ai like that? Why did he get all angry, why the big temper? Even HE knew that Ai wouldn't be a great swimmer. He just wasn't fit for it. Even though, he kept trying, doing his best, up 'til now. Even Ai would break someday.  
"Rin," a dark voice said, as he turned around. It was Sousuke.  
"Ah, it's just you, Sou." Rin smiled at his roommate, but it didn't look very sincere.  
"Have you found out where Ai is, yet?" he asked. Rin shook his head.  
"I've asked everyone I could think of; the team-members, his classmates, his teachers.. I just don't get where he is, Sou. Where the hell could that fricking babyduck be-" Rin ran his fist into the wall as his sadness turned into anger. Sousuke sat down with him on the bunkbed.  
"Why did he run away, Rin." Sousuke didn't ask. He assumed that Rin had said something to the babyduck; something so cruel that he'd never return. Rin held his now hurting hand in the other, and regretted his action.  
"He wanted to quit, Sousuke." Rin whispered.  
Silence.  
"Why would he quit the club, Sou? Why?"  
More silence. Rin started to sob.  
"Why did that idiot think it was okay to just quit?"  
Rin let his head hang, not wanting his best buddy to see his emotional side. As if he hadn't seen it a million times already, Sousuke thought.  
Sousuke put his big hand on Rin's head. He didn't rub it, just let it stay on. It was the most comforting thing he could do, Rin thought.  
"What did you tell him, Rin?" Sousuke finally said something. He knew that if Rin told Ai to die, he'd do it. But if he was as stupid as to be a tsun-tsun about his feelings, and tell Ai that it didn't matter to him if Ai was there or not.. If so, then he'd punch that little shit of a shark for being stupid. He had to know how much destruction Rin had caused, in order to fix it.  
"I yelled at him for wanting to quit, I asked him why, and threw a pillow at him and he-" Rin stopped, but kept sobbing. He clearly realised something.  
"What did you do next? This is important, I want to know what caused Ai's disappearance.."  
"I.. accidentally threw the pillow too hard, and he smashed his head against the wall. Then he yelled an apology and ran off. Also, he had a lot of nosebleeds for the past days, he said."  
Silence.  
"Honestly, I don't think that was just a nosebleed. It was too much and too fresh to be for just a few days." Rin clenched his fist. The memory of the trashcan, full of white tissues with blood on.. Rin clicked his teeth.  
"Where do you think he is now?" Rin asked, and looked at his friend.  
Sousuke closed his eyes and brainstormed.  
"I think I know"

"I'M SORRY!"  
"Senpai, I'm sorry for this. Sorry for leaving the club. Sorry for all the lies. I'm sorry. So, so sorry.."  
Ai kneeled down on the cold road, and cried. His tears streamed down, with no intention of stopping for a while. His knees was completely broken, after running so far. He'd been out running for the past few days, instead of being at practice. He made sure that no one was able to meet him, by running right after school, and come home late. Sometimes, he stopped by Iwatobi to chat with Rei. They were actually getting along very well. Better than Nagisa, that would always be teasing him with the nickname. Ai-chan.  
The only weird thing Ai didn't get, was that Rin hadn't asked his Iwatobi-friends where he was. That not only made him sad, but it confirmed his theory that Rin didn't really care.  
In fear of the fact that he WOULD call them, he stopped coming.  
That only left him with a few texts from Rei, Nagisa and Makoto. Ai was glad they cared, but what did it matter?  
He stumbled himself on his feet, dizzy from running too much with too little energy. He had to buy food. His stamina was better now after he started running, but it was still not enough. If he kept up with this, he'd cause himself more problems than he needed.  
But who would care? Better to let mysef suffer than let anyone else, right?  
I caused trouble for so many people in the club, so why bother them again? My parents would probably take me in again, but in pity. I won't bother them either. I have to think of something soon, or else I'll have bigger trouble..  
"Ai," The voice said, gently. He turned around, but saw nothing. It was dark, and the streetlights had just turned on. The stores will soon close, so hurry up, he told himself.  
"Ai.."  
Damnit, it's just in my head! Leave me alone, gay thoughts!  
Ai slapped him self on the chin, leaving a red mark and hella lot of pain. The voice silenced.  
"I should get going now.." Ai told himsef. His stomach growled, but it was also sick from the running. His phone showed the background of a babyduck as he checked the time. The numbers glowed, and showed the siffers easily. 20:02.  
"Oh, did I run for that long? No wonder I'm hungry.. Huh?" As he checked the time, his eyes focused on the missed calls he'd gotten.  
22 missed calls.  
21 from Rin.  
One from Sousuke.  
Ai cursed himself for letting his eyes tear up again. The tears really didn't want his face to be dry this day, it seemed. He kept drying them with his sweater, but they kept coming.  
"Damn these eyes.." he sulked, constantly brushing them off.  
"You have such beautiful eyes. Like the sky, Nitori"  
The sentence popped up in his head, like he'd always remembered it. The water stopped flowing, and Rin's voice kept talking on repeat. The voice came from deep inside his head, giving an echo whenever his gentle voice spoke.  
Ai turned and walked back. There was a convenience store close by, and he should get food before he passed out or became insane. The voice kept talking, stronger and stronger. The louder, the more echo. As Ai went inside the store, his head was filled with echo, and it hurt. It really hurt a lot. He fell, and lost conciousnes the same moment the doorbell welcomed him in.

A few hundred meters above, and about 15 minutes before, Rin and Sousuke arrived at Haru's home. Makoto was already there, and helped Haru with homework. Or so they said.  
"If we've seen Nitori-kun? No, not today.. Is he gone?" Makoto asked with a worried look.  
Rin nodded, as they all looked serious. except Haru. You could guess why.  
"He's been skipping practice the last days now, and he hasn't told anyone where he is.. It's kinda my fault, for losing my temper on him.." Rin looked down. His fist clenched again.  
"Huh? A few days? But he's been with us! He hasn't swimmed though, but he's been talking to Rei a lot. He stopped coming since yesterday-"  
"HE'S BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME?" Rin suddenly jumped up. His heartbeat suddenly increased. Sousuke sat still by his side.  
"He's gone now, Rin! He stopped coming since yesterday. Rei and I have tried to contact him, and we succeded only once. He said he was fine and all.." Makoto looked down.  
"Rin, did you.. do something to Ai?" Makoto looked troubled and stared at the table.  
Rin sat down again, and looked at the supreme couple. Haru sat beside Makoto in the usual apron. Rin shook his head.  
"I only yelled at him, and hurt him by accident. But if you have any clues about where he is-"  
"Rin," Haru interrupted the shark.  
He looked serious.  
"Ai told us about the quitting."  
Rin let out a questioning sound.  
"He told YOU guys? Why would he let you guys know, when I'm the CAPTAIN on his FUCKING TEAM?!" Rin raised his voice, and his eyes became fiery.  
Sousuke grabbed Rin's shoulder and asked him to calm down. He did as he was told, and tried to surpress his anger. Please continue, he said.  
"Well, he just talked to Rei about it, so we don't know that much.. You should go ask him tomorrow, okay? It's kinda late to visit him now, don't you think?" Makoto smiled. The precious ocre turned the Samezuka-guys gay, and then they went off. When the affection of Makoto's smile wore off, the two of them whent back to their dorms. They couldn't do anything more that night, they told eachother.

"Haru, we're out of mackerell. Shall we go to the convenience store? They're still open, don't you think?" Makoto's smile affected Haru too, but it was to see on him.  
He nodded, and went to get dressed. The apron was even a special treat just for Makoto.. Haru sighted as he took it off and replaced it with a black hoodie and normal pants.  
"Let's go then, nee?"  
The moment they reached the destination, Makoto would catch a glimpse of silver hair on a person, not far away from the store. The person was headed to the store with uneasy steps, almost like he was drunk. It was dark outside, so he could only see a little more than just the silouette. He didn't realise who it was, before the person collapsed in the middle of the store's entrance. Instinctively, Makoto starts running towards the person, like a mother when she sees her kid in trouble. By the time he reached the entrance, he was absolutely sure about one thing; it was Ai.  
It was definietly Ai. His silver hair, beauty-mole under his eye, small body, even his clothes. The cashier was already trying his best to wake Ai up, and one of the customers helped.  
Makoto felt his heart was bursting with stress, but kneeled down and asked what had happened. He just collapsed the moment he came in to this shop, he was told.  
Makoto explained his relationship with the silverhaired boy, and the cashier let him take responsability. Haru called an ambulanse, so while they waited, Makoto sat on the ground, hugging Ai and keeping him warm. He looked like a small kid in Makoto's arms, Haru thought.  
"Might as well buy the mackerell now."

Rin didn't receive any texts or calls that night. Again, his fist clenched. It was soon midnight, and only Rin was awake in their dorm. Sousuke was half asleep, though.  
"Nitori... No, Ai.." He whispered with a trembling voice. He sulked.  
"I should check out Mikoshiba's room again. Maybe he's back now.." Rin got out of bed and left his room-mate alone.  
"It's useless," Sousuke wanted to say. He rolled over and tried to get some sleep himself.  
He knocked carefully on the door, to let Momo know he was entering, but not too loud to wake him up. The door was unlocked, and Rin let out a nervous sound.  
Was Ai back?  
The door glided open, and the light in the corridor lightened up the room. Momo slept on the top bunk, while the bottom full of clothes. Rin walked in and removed some of the clothes. Still as bad as ever, he thought. Ai never was, and would never be, a tidy person. His clothes was thrown all over his part of the room, while Momo at least put his clothes in ONE PLACE. Rin felt anger welled up in him over this small stupidity, but what did it matter? All of Nitori's stuff was here, except his jogging clothes and a jacket. Not the Samezuka official swimclub jacket, but his usual hoodie. No, it wasn't HIS hoodie. It was actually Rin's. One day in the second year, Rin went through his clothes at school and threw away a few shirts and hoodies that were too small for him. Nitori asked for one to keep, and kept it since. He sometimes used it while Rin and he was alone in the room, and even a few times after school and such. He seemed so happy about that hoodie, Rin thought. And still..  
He let go of the thoughts, and kept looking for traces. He went back to Nitori's bed, and revealed the thing under his blanket.

It was just more clothes.  
Not only that, it was RIN'S clothes.  
All of them.  
Again, he clenched his fists and convinced himself not to murder anyone. Because that would explain why his closet was feeling emptier than usual. Case solved.  
As he turned around, his eyes stopped at the trashcan. Again.  
Bending over it, he could see what was inside. Unfortunately, it was now empty. It was even cleaned. Someone had cleaned it since the last time he saw it.  
"Ai, you.." Restraining himself from cursing, he fought the will to kick the can, as he had done that day on qualifications for finals. But that was another day, another story, and for him now; an entirely different universe. Momotarou kept sneezing, and was happily dreaming sweet dreams about him and Gou. Tch, Rin snapped.  
"You'll never get my little sister, you otter.."  
He looked over the dorm-room once more before he went back to his own. Sousuke was still pretending to sleep, as Rin grabbed the ladder and climbed up. On his way, he purposedly bumped his foot on his mate's shoulder.

"Ah, he's awake. Haru, come with the towels!" Ai barely understood the meaning of the sentence, as he tried his best to concentrate. His eyes were closed, and only darkness would find it's way to him. His head felt heavy, like someone dragged him down to hell, and the stomach ached like it already was there. A few minutes later, Ai could open his eyes. It was a terrible eyesight, and repeatedly blinking didn't really help him. It was impossible to focus on anything, and all he could see was blurred dots and lines. He tried to let out a sound, but his strings stayed silent. Two dots appeared above him. Right, he was lying down.  
But where?  
"Aah, I'm relieved! How're you feeling, Nitori-kun?" A somewhat familiar voice spoke, but both vision and sound felt blurred, so knowing who it was, would be impossible. Trying to let out another sound, he tried to reply.  
"Makoto-senpai, we should let him rest, right? We don't know what he's been through, so we'll let him sleep for now-"  
"Oy, oy, Ai-chan! You're finally awake! So good to see you-GACK!"  
Nagisa's voice suddenly stopped, followed by louder thumps and a slam. Probably from a door. Someone sat down beside him, he heard. Rolling his head to the side, he tried to open his eyes. It was somewhat clearer, and he could focus more. A tall boy with dark hair sat close, and suddenly, a hand touched Ai's silver hair. It calmly brushed his hair, like it was silk. Quiet big hands, but not like Rin's. Especially not Sousuke, nor Makoto's. Ai looked up.  
A smiling Rei looked down on him, and kept fuzzing with his hair.  
"Your hair is so soft, like a cat's." He said. Nothing more.

"We should call Rin. We should definietly call Rin. We HAVE to call him. Right, Haru?!" Makoto felt really troubled as his ethical problem kept growing. It was the same situation, but a lot more.. dramatized in his head. Somehow, he came to the conclusion they should turn in for murder. Haru shook his head.  
"If he's avoiding Rin, there must be a reason. A pretty good one, don't you think?" Haru put on his apron again, and got rid of his pants. What a hectic day.  
"I'm just saying, if Nagisa or anyone did something alike, I would be grateful to know the'd be safe, at least." Makoto looked down. The couple left Ai on a spare futon, and went into the kitchen. Same room, but different. It was almost midningt, but Nitori had'nt eaten anything. He used his little voice to whisper "hungry" not long ago, but nothing more. Haru just had to roll with it. That meant, grilled saba for midnight.  
"We should absolutely call Rin.." Makoto reached for the phone, but Haru stopped him.  
"If we tell Rin, what do you think he'll do?" he said.  
Makoto went silent. His brain stopped working under stress, and therefore never thought longer than to his nosetip.  
"Right.. I bet he'd yell a lot, and cry. Just as much."  
"Would it help them with their problems?"  
"Uhm, n-no.."  
Makoto felt defeated, but Haru was right.  
He left the phone alone, and helped Haru with preperations.  
None of them realised that Ai had all ears opened, and heard every word. He let out a sight of relief, and felt like something liftet from his head.  
When the food was done, he rose from the futon and joined at the kitchen table. Both Haru and Makoto seemed relieved that he felt better, and started a cozy conversation. Haru talked about the cats he was feeding, and Makoto whined about not getting to pet them all.  
Haru's grilled mackerel tasted better than any other fish-dish Ai'd ever tasted. Maybe because of the atmosphere? It was the first time in a while that Ai had eaten dinner with others. His parents worked until late every day, so eating with them was out of the question. As old memories, he felt nostalgic about this scene, and his final tears appeared. Really, my face must really want me wet, for some reason today, he thought. The couple stopped eating, and stared at Ai. Salty tears dripped down on his plate, and his remainings were left behind. He started sulking, and when Makoto hugged him, something turned itself on inside of Ai. Like a water tap, the floodgates opened and sulking became whining, and whining became loud crying. Not from pain, nor sadness. He was happy. Happy to be able to eat dinner with someone he treasured. Not like his senpais, but Haru and Mako was precious to everyone. Even to Ai.  
"I-I'm sowy for causing so much trouble, Haru-senpai.. Makoto-senpai.. I'm sowy.. So truly, truly sowy," Ai repeated until he fell asleep in Makoto's lap. Somehow, they all ended up on the floor with Nitori in Makoto's lap and Haru on the side. Nitori was like a petite girl in the ocre's lap. Haru actually felt a little jealous.

Early next day, Sousuke received a text. A quiet short one, to be expected by the one who sent it. Neither Haru or Sousuke was thrilled to talk with eachother, but if it was an emergency, they'd communicate. Really short. On Sousuke's text this morning, the only words written were this.  
"He's here"  
It was either the text's information or the big, faint thump from the dorm next door that left him unable to concentrate. He was now wide awake. Even though Haru didn't specify who, it was clear. He meant Nitori.  
"Oy, Rin! Wake up," Sousuke kicked the upper bedbunk until he heard deadly growling from above.  
"What the fuck, Sou.." Rin hang his head outside the bed, and tried to glare at his best friend.  
"I know where Nitori is."  
The next thing that happened, was the fact that Rin fell out of bed.


	2. Chapter 2

The doorbell rang multiple times at Nanase's house, including loud and agressive knocks. The seniors ditched that day's training, and went straight to Haruka's house. Rin had tried his best to stay composed, but the thought of finally seeing little Nitori again made him restless.  
"Nitori, are you there? Answer me! Haru!" Rin asked as he knocked.  
Sousuke stood in the back and texted Haru about their position. A few minutes later, he replied.  
"Nitori's better. Iwatobi now."  
"Damn, we have to go to Iwatobi high school?" Rin looked at his friend as if he was shit.  
"Let me call Haru first" he answered as he pulled his own phone from his pocket. After a big discussion with a lot of curse words, they both agreed on a meeting point.  
"There's a restaurant not far from here they want us to meet at."  
Rin glared at his childhood friend, expecting him to show the way.  
As they walked, Sousuke noticed that Rin grabbed his phone, looked at the screen and put it back in his pocket, only to repeat it several times.  
"On a scale of one to Piglet, how anxious are you?" Sou asked.  
"Haa?" Rin tried his best not to laugh at the stupid joke. As he felt more relaxed, Rin started thinking. His eyes darkened a bit, and remembered his mean words.  
"What do you think Nitori will do, when we meet him again? Will he return to normal?"  
Sousuke looked down on the red head.  
"I dunno. You DID hit him hard with the pillow, remember? He might have a concusion and never be the same. Maye he even turn straight after this." Sousuke grinned as Rin didn't get his joke. The confused Rin seemed really upset by the thoughts that now ran through his own head. Concusion? Unable? Wait, straight?  
"He isn't STRAIGHT?" Rin almost yelled, looked up at his friend with seemingly more information about people around him. Sousuke stopped walking and just glared as his friend like he was the stupidest person to ever live. His face just screamed, but he said nothing.  
"What?" Rin didn't notice the stupidness in his own reaction.  
The whaleshark shook his head before he started walking again, not saying a word until they arrived at the restaurant.

"It'll be okay, Nitori-kun. We're here to help, no matter what happens." Makoto's smile lightened up Ai's glum spirit. Haru nodded with approval. The couple had decided to meet up at their favorite restaurant, which was placed between their homes and school. They often dropped by to eat after practice. As they waited, their orders had already arrived. Makoto's chocolate cake and hot cocoa smelled delicious, and Haru's dish was filled with Taiyaki. Nitori's own food was a creppe with icecream and strawberries. Just as they began eating, the bell over the front door faintly signalized more customers. Nitori didn't really mind, as the creppe tasted like heaven. The vanilla icecream just melted within his mouth, as the hot pancake warmed the insides. Makoto seemed to enjoy the food exactly the same way Ai did. They both moaned and let out a sigh of happiness. Haru stayed silent, but it was still possible to tell that he enjoyed the food too. Makoto and Nitori smiled at eachother, but then two customers appeared.  
"Seems like we're late, Sou."  
Nitori's stomach suddenly grabbed itself and knitted knots on the inside. He felt like puking, and the needy feeling of running away grew stronger and stronger. He froze stiff, immobilized to even move so Rin and Sousuke could hit a spot. Would Rin sit down next to him? Would he yell? Is he mad? How mad is he? What should I do? Should I run? I should run..  
Sousuke must have seen Ai's reaction, and decided to sit down beside Ai, leaving Rin to take a place beside Haru. He was very grateful for that, and Sou's extra pat on his head helped more than the senpai would ever think. With this, he felt like they all were on his side.  
Rin seemed nervous too, as Ai caught a quick glance of his old roommate. He didn't dear to look up, in case he'd look into the marooncolored eyes of his significant other.  
"Would you guys like to order anything?" A waiter appeared shortly after they'd taken their seats. Sousuke just brushed her off, while Rin ordered a black coffee. None of them seemed very happy. Makoto tried his best to keep the spirit up, but failed miserably. Haru didn't really mind, as he kept eating his takiyakis. Everyone kept silent. Weirdly enough, it was Haru that opened the dialogue.  
"What do you plan to do now, Rin." He looked at his old rival.  
"Eh? What I plan on doing.. Apologize, of course!" Rin seemed offended and desperate at the same time. His eyes was filled with tears, ready to burst at any moment.  
"Apologize?" Ai looked up for a moment, but glanced down quickly. Because, Rin looked straight at him with endearing eyes. He was serious. His heart was ready to jump out of his chest, and he was sure that everyone in the room could hear his heartbeat.  
"Nitori, would you look at me?"  
He did as he was told, thrembling. He could tell that all of Ai's actions had taken it's toll on Rin.  
"Sorry for not being of any help, Ai. Sorry for not listening and helping you when you needed it, and all your bad experiences the past year. I haven't really given you much attention, and I apologize for that. Really. Would you be able to return to the club?"  
Rin's begging eyes looked straight at Nitori. The maroon eyes, that usually looked somewhere else, centrated on him. He didn't hide anything behind his look.  
Nitori felt the tears began to fall down, and quickly whiped his cheeks with the big sweater he wore. It was Makoto's.  
"Rin, I forgive you," Ai was barely able to speak. As his sight turned blurry, he leaned over to Sousuke's side as support, and felt the warmth from his senpai as he suddenly fell asleep.

..

"Mmn..Mhn?" Nitori moaned as he felt somebody touch his arm. Wait, touch my arm? He quickly withdrew his hand, unsure what was happening. He opened his eyes up wide to look at the culprit, and stared into the soul of Rin. The both looked confused, as Rin had bent over him while he was sleeping in a bunkbed. He assumed it was his own.  
"Come here with your hand, quick." Rin quickly said, not looking away but trying to grab the hand. Nitori avoided his senpai, as he kept staring at his senpai. It turned into a staring contest.  
"Damnit Ai, give me your hand before it all dissolves!" He didn't look away.  
"Wh-what are you even doing here, senpai?" Ai tried to ask, not really thinking about what he was doing. He was still half asleep, so his senses weren't really connected yet.  
"Look at your hand and decide for yourself, idiot.." Rin lost the competition when he looked at the hand. Ai did the same thing, and realised what Rin meant. He quickly apologised and moved the hand towards Rin. Apologising over and over, he also wondered why his senpai did this. He had bandaged Nitori's arm, the whole thing from elbow to thumb. He could tell there were something on the insides of the piece of cloth. Something that reminded him of coconut oil..  
"Uhm, what is this?" he asked.  
"This, is something that will make your scars disappear. Keep it on for-"  
"Ueeh? Eh-uhm, we, aah, we-well, s-s-s-s-s-senp-pai.."  
SCARS? Did he see my scars? Of course he did, he must have seen it while I was sleeping, right? Now he knows everything, right? Or maybe, he's got it all wrong? Is it possible? Should I ask? What will he do? Yell at me? Scold me? Go back to how we were?  
"Ai, it's alright. I'm not mad or anything for this. It's partly my fault for not noticing, right?"  
Ai looked up at Rin, surprised by the unexpected comment.  
"I know it'll be hard on you to go swimming again, even without these scars. The least I can do is to help you make them disappear. A friend of mine recommended this oil to me, said it would make any scar disappear. I'm not too sure, and if it won't work-"  
Ai interrupted Rin's protective and "cool" talk with a big hug.  
"Thank you," he whispered in Rin's ear. He felt the elder's cheeks warmed up, as he shyly hugged back. They stayed that way until Rin lost his balance, and they both fell on the ground. Ai smiled and just laughed it off, as Rin showed his sharp teeth with a cute smile.  
"Senpai.." Ai looked down as he tried to rise from the floor. Rin grabbed his hand and forced him down again, making him trip and collide their heads.  
"Ittetete-te.. You alright, senpai?" Ai rubbed his head as he leaned backwards. His poor senpai lost the facefight and ended up on the floor, unconsious for a moment.  
"S-senpai? Rin-senpai?" Ai's heart stopped for a moment.  
"Damn, that hurt, Ai.." Rin didn't move, but started to laugh. Wait, what?

He said it.  
He said my name.  
Not only that, it was my first name, and no honorifics.  
Ai.  
Crap.  
How can I calm down after this?  
I'm way too happy right now..

"-chan, is something wrong?" Rin looked at Ai with a confused expression. Was something wrong? The position they now were placed in, seemed like a typical BL where the seme showed the uke on the floor and was ready to kiss and.. Yeah. When they realised that, they both felt flustered.  
"Ah, ye, senpai! I-I-I-I-I-I-I-" When he moved, something fell from his face. At first he didn't recognise it, but when they touched Rin, he understood what troubled Rin. The silverboy's salty tears kept falling down his face, fast, and with no control. He felt the pain in his throat, like he was about to choke, and began to tremble. His hands began to search for something, running over Rin's chest like it was a piano, while lightly touching and nipping at the shirt his senpai wore. He became more and more nervous, for every second he stayed on top of his senpai, the hunch that he should flee seemed to be more and more likely to be the right answer. As he was about to run, Rin grabbed Ai's small hands with a firm grip and stared at him. Surprised by the sudden moves, he froze for a moment and left an opening for Rin to catch his pray. Again, Rin pulled Nitori down to himself but this time, he held him down. The sudden feeling of having senpai so close, was overwhelming. Even better, the fact that he was hugging Ai was enough for him to stay happy for the rest of his life. To experience a long hug like this with senpai..  
"Everything's gonna be all right, Ai. You can cry if you want to.." Rin whispered in his ear. He'd never heard his fantastic senpai say anything this erotic before! His gentle voice when whispering was like a beautiful firework-show at the end of the perfect festival.  
"These are not bad tears, senpai. I-I'm just happy! It's tears of joy!" Ai did his best at expressing his feelings, but would Rin understand how much this meant to him? The fact that the person he'd look up the highest to, would call him by his first name? To think that someone as gorgeous and full of talent would notice a small, talentless nobody who'd never win anything.. Rin was absolutely someone worthy the admiration.  
"I see.. Happy tears, huh? What are you so happy about?" Rin asked as he snuggled his face into Ai's hair. He let out a small gasp and felt his body became boiling hot. "He's never done that to me, or anyone at school, or anything! Aaaah, this must be heaven~!"  
Rin's breath was deep and hot. He smelled of the coffee he drank at the restaurant.  
"Aah, eehm, well.. I-I felt really h-happy when you called me by my.. F-first name.." It was hard for Rin to understand all of Ai's words as he stuttered. His voice was weak; he mumbled AND stuttered. Surprisingly enough, Rin understood enough of the sentence to know what his babyduck just now confessed. A pause appeared.  
"..my name.." Nitori whispered.  
"Huh?" Rin loosened the grip a bit, so the boy could look up at him. He refused to look at his elder, but repeated the sentence.  
"Say my name, please.."  
Rin put his right hand onto Ai's head and ran it through the silverhair.  
"Aiichirou," He whispered. Nitori shook his head a bit.  
"Not the long one" He was barely able to hear the sentence, but smiled and ran his nose up and down Nitori's forehead. He let out a small, yet mocking sound with his nose. They became closer, and could feel eachother's heartbeats through the thin layers of clothing. Rin was so warm..  
"Ai.."


	3. Chapter 3

He bursted out in tears. Not quiet sure what the reason was, but he cried. A strong feeling of relief appeared in his chest, and lifted the darkness off his mind and chest. He had longed for his beloved senpai to say his name, longed for the time where Rin would think of him as important matter too, see him as an equal. To be close with Rin. _To be noticed._  
"Nitori, what's the matter? Man, you really cry a lot these days, huh?" Rin carefully shook the small boy, and looked into his eyes. Two deep, red eyes stared into Ai's light baby-blue, as if they were depending on telepathy. His tears seemed to affect Rin too, as the corners of the red eyes revealed some tears that began to drip. Trying to play it off cool, he whiped his feelings off with the sleeve.  
"Ai," he said smiling. Rin ran his hand down Ai's wet chin and let out a pleasant sound. Pulling Ai closer as he lead the head onto his shoulders, Rin hid his crying face.  
"Senpai is crying for me.. I'm really lucky, ain't I?" Ai's muffled voice was only hearable for Rin, and held a whole life of love in one sentence. To think Rin would notice me, he thought.  
"Shuddup," Rin said with a giant crack in his voice. The older's cheeks became burning red as fire and kept hiding from his young boy.  
"It's not cool when a badass cries. It's sad and should be respected, so you should stay quiet or I'll kick your ass.."  
Nitori laughed, happy that his senpai could still be til dorky after all the things that happened.  
"After all, senpai will always be senpai. And the only senpai I'll ever love," Nitori muffled, almost unhearable.  
"Is you."

"Eeh? Rin-senpai?" The second-year looked confused at his younger dorm-mate. The words his friend let out didn't appeal to him at all.  
"What do you mean he's in the hospital?" Ai felt his heart was about to burst and kill him, but he tried his best to keep it all under control. Momo raised his shoulders, looking away from Ai. He knew these news wouldn't appeal to his senpai in any way.  
"I just heard from my older brother that Rin got into a fight, and got hospitalized after that. I don't know why or with who, but it seemed serious. My bro and Gou is there right now, so we'll just wait here until new information comes by, okay?" Momo didn't seem very glad about the situation himself, but he knew there was nothing more for him to do than wait. He absolutely disliked this task that Gou gave him; telling Ai.  
"Are you telling me that Rin is hurt, and nobody told me until now? I understand Gou, but Sei?! Why are YOU the one telling me this? Is Rin unable to speak? Is he conscious? What more do you know, Momo?! What hospital is it?!" Ai's voice started trembling, shaking with uncertanty and anger. Who the hell decides to give THIS little information and just expect others to accept and keep calm about it? Momo seemed to be frightened a bit by Ai's harsh talk, and tried to calm him down.  
"Nitori-senpai, let's just wait here for Gou's reply, okay? I know this is kinda frightening and unexpected, but we have to keep calm and do whatever we can, right? If we keep worrying like this, nothing good will happen from it, so-"  
"I care the fuck about Rin-senpai, and I CAN do something about this! I'll go visit him right now!" Ai's words seemed harder than what he meant, and resulted in Momo making a little jump and stay stiff. Ai snorted and turned around, walking in the direction of the school's front gate. He picked up his wallet in the dormitory and texted Gou and Sei at least 10 times each. As his phone kept silent, with no new messages, he got on a buss and went to the closest hospital. The buss was an older model, and only a few passengers was spread between the seats. Nobody talked, and nobody smiled, like there was a dark cloud over them all, raining on them. Ai felt that HE was the reason they all felt so depressed in life.  
When he only had 15 minutes left until he arrived the hospital, Seijuro called him.  
"Nitori? Hi bro, where are you?" There was no background noise on the other end.  
"I'm alone. What's up, where are you and Rin? How's he doing?" Nitori intentionally avoided the question and went right into his own must-know-questions.  
"Huh? We're at X hospital, and Rin is doing fine. He's conscious, but he really needs to rest. I don't know the details, but the doctors says it's no danger anymore. He'll be fine." Nitori felt his heart was about to sprout from joy, and it felt like two titans finally lifted from his shoulders, feeling much lighter. He didn't notice it, but his eyes started crying like a river, and his vision turned blurry. He saw the colours as much brighter now, and the depressed people on the bus seemed happier than what he'd thought the first time he glanced at them. Seijuro kept talking, but Ai just couldn't keep up with the words he heard. His happy time came to and end, and when he finally calmed down on the bus, Sei was still talking.  
"-So that's basically all you have to do. If you want to visit, I'm pretty sure Rin would be happy to see-" The bus stopped, Ai jumped off and went into the hospital. He'd taken a lucky guess with the hospital, but after what Sei said, he was right. As he walked towards the front door, a red head appeared in front of him, only a few meters away. Seijuro looked at him in misbelief. He put his phone in his jacket, and waited for Ai to walk up to him. He grinned at the small high-schooler.  
"Well that's what's up with Rin's stalker. Nothing less than intuition, I guess. Did your Rin-radar guide you here?" Sei was just trying to be funny, but his words was always too mean for most of his victims. Ai wasn't really used to it yet, but that's who the big idiot was. Ai looked up at the now grownup (in the papers) with a killer-face that would scare even Sousuke. Sei raised an eyebrow, but didn't seem more confident after his bad jokes.  
"Okay, you're mad, I get it. Sorry." He looked sorry but hinted to a grin at the same time, and then he rubbed his hand on Ai's head.  
"But seriously, how did you know we were here?" As they started to walk in, Sei looked confused, as he suddenly realised that Ai must have known where to go.  
"Lucky guess," was all he said.

"Knock Knock Knock, who's there?~" Sei tried to be funny as he appeared in Rin's room. Both Rin and Gou made a deep sigh to express how tired they were of Sei's jokes.  
"Oh come on guys! It's funny! I even brought company for you, Rin!" Sei began to pout, showing his lower lip and then dragged Ai into the room. He almost fell over as Sei let go of his jacket midways in his movement.  
"Nitori-kun! Are you alright? Mikoshiba-senpai, you HAVE to be more careful when treating someone like that!" Gou started to shout at her older love interest, but were hasty to apologize for the ruckus. As they started a quarrel, Ai went over to Rin's side and got a look at the patient.  
Rin's calm eyes signed how glad he was to see Ai, and how annoyed he was by Sei's jokes. He must have pulled jokes nonstop since he came, Ai thought. Even though his eyes were calm, his body was tense, with his right arm faintly trembling. His left arm was wrapped up in bandages, and his upper parts were covered in purple bruises. A pat was placed upon his forehead, and as Ai stared at his elder, Rin tried to look away. Even though, he put up a smile for him. Why did he look so sad? He even had a big bruise on his chin; big, purple and swelled. His eyes said "regret", his smile whispered "you shouldn't pity me" and his body shouted "collapse".  
"Rin-senpai?" Ai's voice sounded weak, ready to fall into tears even though he wasn't the one hurt. He tried to control himself, but as he waited for Rin to look his way, the tears wanted to fall, so, so badly. When he then turned to look at his younger friend, his eyes widened as the image of a crying Nitori faced him instead.  
"Na, Nitori-! Hey, why're crying?! Geez, for crying out loud, literally.." Rin jumped closer to the boy, moved his hand on top of Ai's head and tousled his silver-like hair. Rin put a more gentler smile on his face, but itwas still fake. He kept tousling until Nitori's tearful peak was summited. The hand then proceeded to softly cuddle the head, as if it was the softest fur he'd touched. His warm and gentle movements helped to release Ai's stress, and felt more relaxed.  
Senpai's thouch..  
He felt flustered as he thought of it, and his whole body started burning. His own mind began to stutter, and suddenly went blank. Rin's right arm was so warm..  
"Aah, senpai.. I completely forgot why I got here.." Ai spoke faster and faster, as he had no idea what his brain had in mind for him. Suddeny he felt sleepy. The warm hand got drawn away from him, and Rin put the sad face upon his again. As Rin looked down on his own hand, Ai felt the regret dwell inside him. No senpai, don't be sad! Come back with your hand, nuzzle me, pat me, touch me with your gentle movements! Ai's heart sank, as he looked at his perfect senpai with sad eyes. In the background, they could hear Gou and Seiijuro still fight in the corridor. The silent kept hugging them.  
"Rin.. senpai, why.. What happened?" Ai asked with his weak voice. He didn't dare to look him in the eyes. In his corners, Rin rose his hand to comb his hair with the fingers before he answered. He sighted.  
"I fell."  
A sting appeared in Ai's chest when he said that. A spear pierced him, and he knew it was wrong. He felt the need to uncover the truth, but it didn't seem right to do so. Rin had a reason not to tell, right?  
"Oh. Seems like a terrible fall, right?" Nitori played along, covering his face with a sad look. Rin just nodded in silence. His bandaged arm looked unconfortable, and Ai wondered how much pain his senpai was in when it happened.  
"Do.. Does it still hurt?" He asked, putting up a less depressing face, almost facing his elder. The shark shook his head, and put a weak smile on his own mouth.  
"No, it doesn't hurt anymore, Ai." Senpai then tilted his head to the side and closed his own eyes. He seemed to concentrate on something, like a specific sound. Ai was speechless, not only because he didn't know what an unknowing person would do, but because Rin lied to him. The simple fact that Rin didn't share his part with Ai. The fact that he chose to keep him in the dark, despite everyone else knowing what was going on. He didn't feel furious until he came back to the dormitory.

"What the FUCK is up with Rin! Why the FUCK doesn't he tell me what happened! Why the HELL is nobody telling me this! I. WANT. ANSWERS!" Ai's punches broke a vending machine. As he kept swearing, the cola he'd chosen fell out of the machine, ready to be consumed. The pain from the wild punches was torture, and his knuckles felt like they'd been vaporized. Damnit, he kept muttering as he picked up the can with the hurt hand. It really stang him, and the cola fell onto the floor. Confused, he picked it up again with the same hand, but now he couldn't move the fingers. The knuckles slowly changed colours from red to purple. There was no pain, but he now felt numb from the fingertips to the elbow.  
"I wonder if the nurse is still at school.." He rose from the floor with the can in the healthy hand, and stared at the purple colours of the other. He had now the same amount of pain on both sides of his body. The mental pain was still worse than the psysical, but he didn't feel as much sadness as before. His scars were still faintly visible, but thanks to Rin, he could join the swim practice without too much attention.  
"She's gone home for the day. Only thing you can do is go to the captain. Too bad he's hospitalized.." Ai jumped by the sudden voice appearing, and turned around to stare into the pecs of his senpai. Sousuke looked down on the damaged high-schooler. He didn't say more, but waited for Nitori to take action. Everything seemed to suddenly change place, and Ai became too conscious about his own whearabouts. He tried to stutter an apology, just as Sousuke grabbed his hand. It felt like it was about to be teared apart from the rest of him. Sousuke didn't seem to have any compassion as he examined it, and Ai felt like crying from the sudden overpowered pain he experienced. Sousuke's eyes narrowed, and sent a scary-like look into Ai's blue eyes, giving him shivers down his spine. Sou's face returned to normal a second later, giving the illusion that he never went mad.  
"Why are you destroying yourself like this?" He stared at the hand, refusing to let go of the evidence. Ai didn't really like the idea of being held hostage, and tried to get out of his elder's ironfist.  
"I got angry because nobody tells me anything anymore," He muttered with a pouting face. Sousuke glanced down on the oh-so-cute boy, and showed a slightly amused smile.  
"You're cute when you're mad like that, you know?" He looked ESPECIALLY cute when he shoved the lips out, pouting like that, Sousuke thought. Ai refused to look up, but felt a faint blush on his ears. A low chuckle came from Sou's mouth for a moment, but then returned to a more serious face. Not letting go of the other's hand, he asked to be looked at. Ai obeyed, and impatiently waited for the sharkwhale to get it over with.  
"Breaking yourself really isn't the right way to help others, you know that?" The fun side of Sousuke disappeared in an instant, leaving nothing but a serious, almost tragical facial expression. His serious face. Holy crap, he looked ten times scarier like this, Ai whined inside his mind. They sat down on the bench closest to them.  
A speech of "been there done that" began.  
A speech where Sousuke told more wisdoms-words than any hipster-blogger on tumblr. As Ai listened, he managed somehow to stare into the other person's crotch, and with a hasty reaction with realisation, his eyes laid upon Sou's hands. Or rather, just his right hand. The wisdoms-words dissolved, and nothing stuck to his brain. What the fuck?  
"Sousuke?" Ai interrupted the speech, and Sou looked down on his friend, curious.  
"Did you by any chance.. hit a vending machine too?"  
"Haa?" Sousuke seemed very confused by Nitori's choice of words, but when realising why, a laughter burst out of him. Ai tilted his head and raised an eyebrow.  
"Yeah, something like that.." he said, lowering his voice. His eyes layed focus upon the floor and smirked. He seemed somewhat relieved.  
His right hand was tightly bandaged from his wrist up to his fingers. He must have gone to the nurse right before she went home, Ai guessed. The bandaging was neatly done, which was a relief. Ai's own hand ached.  
"You're in pretty much pain, right? Let me patch you up for now.." Sousuke said, grabbing the now purple hand while he examined it.


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry for the VERY long delay for this new chapter! It can't be too long, but I will begin to update this story regularily in 2018!

Chapter 4

Rin was still in the hospital, even after a week. Nitori was back to attend classes, but still refused to visit the swim club. Sousuke didn't try to force him either. Nitori's hand shook from time to time, but the knuckles were healing alright.

The anger from that night was still in his system. Whenever he recalled the hospitalized Rin (which he recalled very often) he thought of the night he tried to fight the vending machine. It was no use, it had no purpose, but he couldn't do anything to stop it. His anger and despair were driving him that night.

Nitori looked down on his pencil, realizing he'd been biting the end of it throughout the class. He glanced up from the wood in his hand, and twitched as none of the classmates were inside the room. Nobody was there, but nothing showed any sign of rush in getting out. For a second, he just stared at the board, not really grasping the environment.

He quickly picked up his phone from his bag when he realized, and blinked as the digits lighted up.

16:32

«School ended just like that..?» he whispered.

Nitori let go of his phone, letting it gracefully fall onto his lap while he crouched over the desk and put his head onto it. He faced the window, and let out a small puff. The day was pretty and uplifting; the sun shone, the wind gracefully played with the girls' hair and skirt, and the leaves crackled as they left the reviving tree. It was spring.

«Why won't Rin tell me who he fought with?» Nitori sulked.

His hand stinged, and he let out a soft whimper.  
Why didn't Rin call him?  
Why did nobody update him from the hospital?  
Could he ask Sousuke for information? He was still a tad frightened by the team member, but he WAS a good listener, and his way to bandage Nitori's knuckles really was a piece of art..  
What should he do?  
What COULD he do?

He could call Rei.

«Ah, Rei-chan!» Nitori raised his hand, waving his friend over to his own stall. The boy with the glasses waved back, giving a small smile as he walked closer. They quickly ordered drinks, and bent a little over the table to talk. Nitori had only given a short text about where to meet, and theme; Rin.

There was a lot he wanted to say about that theme. 

Like how he wanted to quit the swimteam, how his own very existence were an insult to Rin and his dreams, how he felt about Rin being hospitalized, and how he felt useless and clueless in this whole situation. How he «betrayed» Rin by cutting and wanting to end everything, cutting ties and all.

But he didn't want to talk about all this, yet.  
He wanted to talk about Rins hospitalizing.

«So, what's up? We haven't heard from you in a while! I hope things has been solved on your side?» Rei smiled as he cocked his head to the side, just like Nagisa. His smile vanished within a second when he glanced at Nitori's bandaged hand. His eyes spoke thousands of words, all at the same time. Nitori quickly pulled his sleeve over the hand and refused eye contact. A small cough left his mouth as he tried to reposition himself. Their eyes finally met.

«You haven't been able to talk, have you..» Rei sounded slightly disappointed, lowering his voice. He most certainly felt like this was his problem too, since Nitori had let him in on his problems since the beginning.

Nitori nodded.

«But it does not matter, not right now. I want to know if any of you have the slightest idea who Rin fought with? I can't sort this out myself, and nobody gives me any information on Rin's wellbeing nor cause.. All I want is to know who hurt Rin-senpai. I know I can't put on a fight with another person; we both know I am too weak. But there must be something for me to do?»

Nitori moved his fingers on the table, itching to do whatever. It looked like he played the piano, as the fingers gracefully followed a songs notes.

Rei folded his hands, and tried to remember. Or think. Nitori didn't know for sure if this was just him trying to be dramatic or actually helpful. Either way, it would be easier than just snoop around alone.

Rei tapped his index finger in a slow motion, squinting his eyes, and flipping his lower lip out. Without a doubt, he was thinking. Then he raised his head and stared into Nitori's own blue eyes.

«I am sorry to say, but I really don't know. At least, it was nobody from my swim team.»

His eyes grew soft after the quick change of atmosphere. The eyebrows frowned in a worrying look.  
«I can ask around the school, but I doubt there's anyone from Iwatobi. Rin didn't really have many friends other than us..»

«It's okay. Thank you for telling me, it helps more than you think.» Nitori lowered his sight down on the table where his drink were standing tall, still untouched.  
The drink on the other side where half finished, as Rei had taken a big sip when it first arrived. He grabbed the glass again, and lifted it. Nitori lost his appetite.

«Is there anything else bothering you?» Rei tried, looking for eye-contact with Nitori again. The silver haired boy refused to look him in the eyes. He hid his hand under the table.

Why did he do this? Was he angry that it wasn't Iwatobi, or that he didn't get the answer he wanted? Really, the thought of not figuring out who hurt Rin was bothering him a lot. On top of that, he was unable to share his inner thoughts with a friend he really trusted.  
Why was it so hard to tell Rei that he was, in fact, not okay?  
Was it because it would be too much of a hassle to "fix him"?

Why was it so hard to tell people?

«If there's anything bothering you, please call me. See ya!» Rei began to walk away from the cafe they met, smiling bright before turning.  
His silhouette grew smaller and darker, as the sun set above him. Bright colours of orange, yellow, pink and red were floating above, feeling the warmth of the sun slowly disappear. Dark blue skies were relaxing under all the light, followed by purple, orange and at last blue while it moved further away from the sun.  
Watching Rei walk under this vivid, natural masterpiece was like looking at a sunrise by the sea.

Nitori wanted to be a part of this piece too. He wanted to run up to him, smile, and jog together back to whatever place they wanted to be. This immense feeling of being alone hit him when Rei's silhouette disappeared.

He was alone, once again.

As he stood there, clenching his fists so much his knuckles hurt, he wanted to scream. Somehow, screaming would solve anything, his mind told him.

He didn't care.

He didn't care for his own life.

But he cared for Rin, and Sousuke, and Rei, and all the others.

He cared for Rin's carriere, his wellbeing, all of it.

And he cared for Sousuke's wellbeing.

Why was he so incapable to help his treasured friends?

"I'll go somewhere and scream.." he whispered, slowly turning around to walk the other way. He began to jog, slowly.

The view from the cliff was mesmerizing.  
The waves rolled on to the beach far below him, some crashing into the big rocks beside it. The wind was strong, pushing and pulling him as he stood on top of the giant rock.  
It'd been ages since he'd been here, even though this place was close to the Academy.

The first time was actually with Rin.  
Rin was always running up here in the morning, all by himself. Nitori wanted to join him, of course, but it took him a lot to even get up from bed that early in the morning.  
But once he made it, Rin would smirk at him before they headed out, him keeping the same tempo as usual.

Once they reached their first rest-place, Nitori was already heaving for air, almost falling to the ground from lack of sleep.

He deeply regretted his decision to join Rin. Although he was able to speak with him alone, did not mean they would have good conversations. Nitori's heart fluttered so much when they jogged that he never really made progress in the running-part.  
His heart would always focus on the fluttering, and refuse to pump evenly for the rest of his body. The first times they jogged, Nitori would pass out in the middle of the road because of that.

The sight he was seeing today was magnificent in every way. He might not have a clean cut to the sunset, as it was going down on the other side, but the colours where amazing. It looked like a saturated sunset, with only dark and light blue in every combination. It made the sea almost glowing.

Nitori tilted his head back, and noticed the moon heading up. It was clear, shining bright from the suns last light of the day. It was still too soon for the stars to be out, but once they poked their holes through the skies, the view would become even better, he was sure.

He didn't notice it at first, but he was smiling. His lips curled to a grin, by the reminiscing of Rin and his training regiment, and the scenery that was constantly forming in front of him.

That was the time when he really loved swimming.


End file.
